At the end of each school day, when I have the children, I empty their school bags. Out comes the rubbish but mostly it is letters or homework. Same for every parent.
However, you children’s drawings can tell you a lot on how they see things. It so happened the project for my son this week was to make a mini book called ‘My Family’, which immediately makes me very nervous. It makes me nervous as I am a father who just wants his children to be happy and I guess I worry there may be something bad in the drawings.
The book was yet another eye opener. You see, my son has always been a mummy’s boy although not as much as he used to be. I would never discourage my children’s love for their mother, nor bad mouth her, as much as I would LOVE to! His little book was 6 pages of how he perceives his family and his home. Cheerfully entitled My Famile (sic), the book opened up to a picture of 3 people. 2 females, a male and the dog! My heart sank but I read the rest of the book anyway, which showed the house and his favourite parts which was pretty much his bedroom and his FIFA game!
But I was too quick to assume, my son wanted to describe the book. The drawings were not of 2 females and a male, they were himself holding his sister’s hand, and the tall person was me. I did well to keep my composure as he described that this was his family NOT mummy.
He is so young but wise enough to distance his mother from the house set up. Nobody has prompted this either, I just assumed he would be closer to his mum. He then informed me that being home with me makes him feel safe.
In a divorce or the break up of parents, we fail to spot that children form their own assumptions and reasons on how things are. The most important thing is not to lie, but you can choose to withhold facts as the truth will only cause upset. And, as proven today, your children will make their own mind up and tell you in ways you can never expect.
Keep an eye on those doodles if you want to understand what your children are thinking, they can tell you a lot.