Wow, what a week. Utterly flown by, made harder by the children being off for Half Term. Co-ordinating this event is hard enough as I have to work out where I will be with work, whether the ex-wife can accommodate, what the kids want to do and it goes on. I used to love Half Term when in a stable relationship, it was a chance to have family time. Now, it’s more about balancing everything to make sure the kids have a nice time.
However, balancing is only done on my part. It hasn’t just been work this week, I have had a mountain of paperwork to do for this meeting today, I have also had to have painful dental work and of course, do my job! It has been co-ordinated well until yesterday when my son had to finish his football early to attend a party in the afternoon. It seems asking my ex-wife to head out on her lunch hour to collect him and drop him back to me was apparently as impossible as re-inventing the wheel. All I need sometimes, is a little help.
I take my job as a parent very seriously, even more so since being a single parent. As much as you think you do a great job though, there are still times you need help. It is simple impossible to do everything yourself, there are just never enough hours in the day and there will always be timing clashes.
I have always been careful to make sure work has not been affected and I am incredibly lucky (not a word I use often with my life!) to be able to work from home a few times a week. Sometimes, my worlds do come close to colliding though.
What else I find amazing, is the perceived roles of a single parent. I will do anything for my kids but my ex will do the glory days but I am still expected to pay for everything major. I am never tight, but it was her decision to leave and the children are ultimately both of our responsibilities, expect for the bills it seems?
I need to be clear, I am not here to slate my ex wife but I am here to give everyone a clear vision of what it is like to balance being a single dad, and to try and achieve everything on very little money. So my point is when did it become the responsibility of one parent to do all admin, all bills, all treats and be the voice of reason?
I am mid life now, this is not how I envisioned my life to be at this stage. My children are as happy as they can be now though, and miss out on nothing. But the more I try and resolve this debt, and the busier my job gets I need to start getting some real help or the balance of work v family will ultimately fail.