A major part of being in major debt and dealing with an affair, and the subsequent split/divorce, is that you are always looking to make improvements. When my life was stable, as in I was happy and with manageable standard debt like credit cards, I just took life as it was. Having your life largely controlled by external factors doesn’t just change you emotionally, it changes your whole way of acting.
A large part of every week is looking for improvements that will lead to a saving of some sort, small and large savings all help. Sometimes I get a result, this week I have saved 25% off my council tax yearly bill after the local council conceded that I do in fact live alone. I have been trying for 2 months to prove this, made difficult by the fact my ex is still on the mortgage and electoral role. A fact that is changing next year by the way. A fantastic saving though that will help me enormously.
This is another example though of a saving that helps not just me, but my children. Every extra penny gives us a better life, or as better a life as I can give them.
My competition entering continues to go well, another 3 kids prizes won this week. Makes the effort worth it.
I often wonder where my week has gone. I spend the week working, being a dad, entering competitions, following up ways to get in extra money (PPI claims, Financial Ombudsman are 2 good examples), and online shopping around. Oh and Ebay, a way of making money and finding things you want at a fraction of the cost.
I do hate it though, I would love a life of not having to do this. It takes a lot of work, but the rewards make it worth doing. Perhaps I miss out some things I like but not all, and at least I get my children 4 nights a week.
I read a lot of other debt related blogs, and I know they read this one. The biggest fact I had to learn quickly was not to sit and break down. It is unlikely you will ever get out of it by sitting and praying for a miracle, so look for ways to make it better. Savings and advice will always help. You might not like some of things you have to do, for example my Insolvency decision, but if it can you through the other side then never worry about people’s opinions.
You can never stop feeling ashamed by your situation, just don’t dwell in it.