Tag Archives: christmas

Christmas is done again

Christmas is over for another year, thank God.   I used to really love Christmas, it was my favourite season, but since the family breakup I do not enjoy it at all.  However, it is for the kids and that is what makes it worth it.  Or……it was until this year.

Christmas day meant the visit of the ex and her father to spend the day, I could put up with this as it is, well, Christmas.   The day went ok, and I managed to get her to leave at 4pm so not so bad.  I was left thinking it may not have been as bad as I suspected it might be.  The kids seemed happy and it was all over with no bad feeling.

And then we had boxing day.  The kids went to the ex’s house, and I phoned them the next morning.  It was on this call that I discovered an alternative Christmas day had occurred with her father and sister at her new place.  A new pile of gifts for the children, some tagged from the ex and her partner.  Here are the issues I am massively cheesed off by this.

Firstly, this was very deliberately planned behind my back.  Her dad has always been very honest with me but this time not, it was sly and dishonest but I have got used to it with her family.  Nobody had the respect to tell me what was going on, and She had no respect at all to discuss getting gifts for MY children from her and her partner.  For me, this should have been discussed.  My children receiving gifts from another man (I use that word loosely) is something that should be agreed upon, my daughter doesn’t even like him.

I have said that in 2015 things need to change, so I am taking this as one final hit.   I sucked it up as usual only this time my ex is well aware of my anger because I didn’t show it.  I just went quite and held her stare, she actually looked quite scared.  She started with the usual sentence of “it isn’t what you think” but anyone else who has been through this will know that actually it IS exactly what I think.

Moving forwards, the positivity will not be affected by this.  I need and will be looking after number 1 and things like this will have to roll off me I guess.  I will go with everyone’s advice that her time will come, I do so hope it does.

Roll on New Year, I have plans for you.

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bills, bills, bills.

Sometimes, and it is rare, my situation gets to me.  It does take a lot, by definition I am a very strong person.  I handle personal crisis well but occasionally it gets too much.  I can only juggle so many things at any one time, today got a bit too much.

Started last night when I got in from work, my ex was kind enough to leave the usual school letters and bills to be filled in, signed and paid and then to be returned to the school.  Quite why she cannot pick up a pen and at least fill them in is beyond me but I am well used to it.  However, there were a few more than normal.

I had come home with £24 in my wallet, proud I had made it through the week after withdrawing £50.  I figured that would get me though the weekend but no, and you can guess what is coming here, the school forms requiring payment equalled £24.  Totally gutted…my wallet was now empty.  Whatever I try to do, every week I end up with no money.  It annoyed me and just felt a little deflated.

Today I received 2 letters, the first was a fine from my bank for my business bank account going overdrawn.  This was expected as I have ceased trading.  This letter will be dealt with by my Insolvency Practitioner but it was still unpleasant to receive the letter.  I knew it was was bad as it was HAND SIGNED!  Normally bank letters have printed signatures, but not mine.

Onto letter 2.  My energy company is putting up my direct debit by a whopping £46/month.   This is an additional £500/year.  This was my breaking point today, I just feel like I always lose.  No matter how many savings I make, or things I sell, or cuts to spending I perform I somehow always end up back at square one.  I have mentioned this before, once you are at the bottom of the pit then somehow you stay there.   It does seem that you need that lucky win, or lottery win, to pull your out.

I wonder how many other people in debt feel this way.  This never ending drain on your funds?  Perhaps when you are affluent you don’t notice these little things but sadly I do notice them.  I just want a break here, it is so hard keeping everything paid and up to date as a single parent.

It is now only 7 weeks till Christmas too.  Something really needs to happen, financially, and quick.

christmas fear begins

Anyone else worried about Christmas yet?

I have always loved Christmas, nor really sure why, it is just a happy time of year.  Prior to this year, I always managed to keep a little bit of money back in a Christmas savings account so that my children had what they wanted.  But this year…

I have not managed to save anything obviously, due to the constant demands for my money.   I have been lucky enough to win a couple of gifts for them, but the lists arrived yesterday.  Handed to me by two excited children to hand to Santa.

I read that note to Santa and felt that instant dread, as I can barely afford any of it.  However, I have never been a father who won’t do anything to provide for them.  So, it may be the time to sell one of my beloved possessions, which forms a large part of my ‘secret hobby’.  An expensive item but something I have managed to hold on to, but it may be that I have to back down and get the cash.

I haven’t stopped entering thousands of competitions in the hope I win some toys.  But it isn’t just for my children, I have nieces and nephews too.   For the first time in my life, I am not looking forward to Christmas at all.

The sceptre of Debt affects every walk of your life, it is always there.  You now constantly worry about major events, events like Christmas, birthdays, celebrations, school trips and then your own household bills, social life and so on.

I still have 2 months but I am expecting more brown envelopes soon.   Whatever happens, I will do my absolute best to make this Christmas wonderful for them.