Tag Archives: ex wife

It’s time to get tough.

Well, it has truly kicked off….or more to the point, it is about to.

My ex-wife, as you all know, is a total and utter nutcase.  But this time, she has gone too far.   After suffering multiple more phone calls of her screaming abuse at me because we cannot agree on a child maintenance fee I can take no more.  What great timing for me to take a stand too as, from Monday, we will probably never speak again about anything other than the children.

So, a brief reminder of the issue, she is demanding a huge £400 for the children and £600 equity repayment A MONTH.  The maximum I will have to give is £300/month according to the state.   But, the only reason I have never paid this is I pay for EVERYTHING towards the kids, she doesn’t even give me money towards their school trips etc!

I have been called multiple bad names including “sh1t father”, “tight bastard”, etc.   Interesting isn’t it eh, the affair was discovered 5 years ago, and she left 3 years ago leaving me with shattered kids, a home to run, bills to pay and debts to clear.  What happened to her, oh she moved into her lovers home and got her sports car etc.  But it is what it is.

So, I have flipped this on it’s head.   My solicitor has issued a letter, to be delivered Monday, with the following summary:

1. She is no longer permitted to enter my home at her own free will, she has been gone over 12 months so I am allowed to request this

2. She is to be removed from the land registry record, this is no way affects her 50% of the equity but wipes her from all other issues with the house.  This also prevents her opening accounts or credit cards against my house

3. she is no longer permitted to contact me about anything other than the children

4. I am stopping her getting her 100% of the child support from the government, I have been entitled to 50% for the last 3 years

and a few other things.  The letter is matter of fact and she will kick off but in reality, if she had just left me alone this would not have happened.  It also protects me fully now and cuts all last ties with this lunatic.

We now also have a pathetic letter from her solicitor, demanding I present my financial situation.  We have declined this as nobody bar a judge in court can request this.  The letter also slags me off for not attending mediation!  Yes, the very same mediation she booked an appointment in my name, without my permission!   Of course, there is no need for mediation, there is only one asset!!   That asset is the equity.

So then, I know how this will go.  She will go absolutely mental when she gets the letter, but with every control freak if you remove their control, they cannot cope.

Watch this space, anyone who has been through this, or who is about to…watch and learn.  It’s time to fight back, and I intend to tear her apart this time.  I have had enough of this vile woman, it’s time she got brought down a bit.

Misconception of Bitterness

Bitterness is a difficult emotion to describe, some would say you have to let go or be perceived as holding on to hatred.  But, I have to disagree.  Bitterness is not just about hatred and rage, for some people (like myself) bitterness is the blame associated to someone who has caused some of your issues.   Bitterness is more about envy.

April has been a tough month, a ridiculous amount of money spent out due to birthdays and bills.  So much so, I will be short this month but I have got completely used to that.   I am also well used to paying for everything as you know, despite my ex-wife coming after me for money.  A classic example is me being responsible for my son’s party and gifts, I paid 90% again.  So, how does this lead to bitterness?

My calendar is full, full of social appointments for work, myself and the kids (parties etc).  All of which have to be pre-planned and paid for of course.  I have 2 weeks off work in August but as much as I play around with figures, I cannot afford a holiday this year.  That is an utter waste and a tragedy, not all may be lost though as I am still awaiting a court case settlement for my car accident and a payout from the government for over-payment of taxes (oh the irony, see multiple previous posts).

Enter bitterness, my ex as always.  You will all know she walks on water, no Karma here people sadly.   But it seems to get worse, at Christmas when she was thrown out on the street I finally thought it could be her time.  Nope…

It seems that she has somehow talked ‘him’ around so much now that he is completely re-decorating again, but this time rooms for my kids.   At great expense too, whereas I scour auction sites for nearly new furniture for my kids rooms.   Not just that, she now gets a free holiday for “being down”.   Let me re-iterate, this is not jealousy here.  Envy yes, but mostly frustration.

I am not a religious man, I never have been but also have no feelings either way for believers on non-believers.  However, when I pass, and I do meet with whatever comes next I would like to ask the question of why some people are given an easy path whereas others fight tooth and nail to survive?  Does anyone else feel like this?

So it irritates me when people tell you bitterness is a waste of time.  That statement makes no sense, if your life is pushed downwards because of someone else you will always have bitterness.  How you quantify how much, is down to you.

I have said many times, when you struggle with debt and you throw in a divorce caused by an affair, it feels like you are always swimming upwards with a concrete block tied to your feet.

So yes, I remain bitter at her getting everything for free all the time.   Time tests my patience.

Postman delivers utter rage

I am well used to dreading the mail coming, due to the HMRC issues but that all stopped a while ago.   But today, the mail delivery brought something took me a level of rage rarely encountered.

As I have mentioned, my ex is constantly pressuring me for money she is NOT entitled to.  It is non stop, and being how manipulative she is, I wondered what her next move would be.  She said before, how she cannot afford a solicitor so we should do mediation.  Should we????  says who??  I have repeatedly called her bluff by asking her to get her solicitor to contact mine so we can proceed.   But what did I get today?

AN APPOINTMENT WITH MEDIATION SERVICES….utterly livid.  The letter states I have been referred to them and that I now have an appointment in May pre-booked and to bring my ID and bank statements.  WHAT…hell no.

Firstly, it is a waste of time.  It is money for nothing, a good £350 worth of nothing.   She is playing a game here, she will not pay for a solicitor but will do this, well I can tell you something I am not going to be attending.  There is no legal obligation to go, what a cheeky cow she is.  Booking me in for that, who the hell does she think she is?

Do you know what, I have so much evidence to use including last week when I found out (completely by chance) she has a sly saving account with £4000 in it.  4 grand, yet she pleads poverty…unreal.

I don’t normally rant but seriously now, enough is enough.  She took everything from me, she left me to deal with the children and their emotions, a load of bills and mutual debt, and carried on with a new relationship.  They live together, she works for him, he bought her a sports car and personal license plate, he gives her money, what am I paying for here?  I pay every single thing for the children, gladly I will say, so why pay more?

Honestly, I am not going to lie to you all, I absolutely positively hate her.  I hate with her such passion I cannot believe we were ever a couple.  She is a greedy, lying, sneaky, manipulative vile creature and anyone who says Karma will step in, let’s see it.

I have been through hell to get myself back on a level, financially and emotionally, and still she won’t leave me alone.

I am so glad I have a punch bag, I have just utterly battered it.

My ex really has issues

As most of you know, my ex wife has temper issues.  When things don’t go as she planned, she will throw her toys out of the pram like a school girl.  I put up with it for many years and have rather enjoyed, from a distance, her rows with her boyfriend.

Her life has been going down the pan, financially.  Again, pardon my smirk!   Sadly, as with every time, the minute that she is cornered she targets me.   A couple of weeks ago it was yet another veiled threat demanding money, money that she is still not entitled too so I declined yet again.

Things have been quiet, bar a couple of situations that have made me uncomfortable which are simply not worth going in to on this blog.  Today though, it was her turn to have the children for 3 nights.  Why is this an issue well my daughter has not been happy at hers and chose today to kick off about it.  Amazingly this caused a temper tantrum from the ex I have not seen in some time.

She was in the house about 90 seconds and in that short time I was accused of deliberately avoiding her birthday (this coming Friday), despite the fact we have been split up for 5 years and I always make sure she has cards from the kids and token gifts.  Then she kicked off as my daughter wanting to go to her was my fault, and that it was my fault “probably because you are jealous of my relationship and want it to fail”  I did well not to laugh at that point.

Then she stormed out, slammed my door harder than ever before, and left the kids and I stood there in disbelief.  The woman really needs help.

I truly have no real idea why the anger was directed at me or the children, but I did love that quote.  I love it as it demonstrates she still believes that somewhere I have some feelings for her.  I do not, I have no interest in her life or who she is with.  What I want is for her to disappear and that it is just then myself and the children.

The problem is, the children need their mother despite her displays of anger in front of them.   That’s life sadly, sometimes you are stuck with people for the majority of it.

Utter Chaos

Well, I have been a little quiet haven’t I?  I will tell you why, it is the car crash that is my ex wife that sadly blew our lives apart again.

It all started last Sunday evening with a phone call at 9.30pm from her stating she had to bring the kids back to me as it had all ‘kicked off’.  Completely over the moon as I got the kids back for an extra evening!   They arrived back at 10pm, quiet and tearful so I realised something big had happened but didn’t push it.  Hugs and kisses, then put them to bed before retiring too.

11pm the home phone rang but I didn’t get there quick enough but no message was left on the answer phone so I went back to sleep, until midnight when my mobile rang.  It was her, in a police car, on the way round to mine.   Yes, to my house.   10 minutes later she was at the door clutching multiple black bags and flanked by two police officers.   Apparently this was the only place she could go and her name was on the mortgage so it was still her legal residence.

We move on, stay with the story guys.

In a 20 minute summary, it transpired that an argument had started around the children.  As this was escalating, his children were dropped home and mine came back too (as you know) so they could continue the discussion indoors.  This discussion turned into an all out fight which is where the police became involved, and she was subsequently thrown out by her partner, who also took her car keys.  He was then arrested apparently.

What a pleasant environment that must have been.  So, what to do?   She was now on my sofa and I had to get up at 6am for work, so I let it slide.

Over the course of this week I have watched the inevitable unfold, of her slagging him off and involving her friends to forgiving him and then (I am guessing here) moving back in.

This is the story, but the point isn’t to highlight what I have to deal with it is to highlight what I will have to deal with imminently.  It is even more obvious that I need to get her off the mortgage by raising the 10K needed.   I signed up to the credit expert site and nervously checked my credit rating.  Avid readers will know I was rated Poor previously, but now it is has moved to Fair.  Don’t scoff though guys, a rating of ‘Fair’ is a massive improvement for me and testament to how much debt I have cleared.

Anyway, that rating is great for me trying to remortgage in June.   I have to get her off this property so that when it happens again I can legally turn her away.  This may sound harsh but I cannot have her continually causing havoc in my life, and the kids.  This latest episode just prompts the need to do anything I can to get clear of her totally, all bar the kids of course.

What a nightmare eh?  Caused even more upset for the children as well….her life really needs to be removed from mine.  The cynics will ask how I was ever married to her……………..

I don’t even remember why.