Tag Archives: frustration

My ex really has issues

As most of you know, my ex wife has temper issues.  When things don’t go as she planned, she will throw her toys out of the pram like a school girl.  I put up with it for many years and have rather enjoyed, from a distance, her rows with her boyfriend.

Her life has been going down the pan, financially.  Again, pardon my smirk!   Sadly, as with every time, the minute that she is cornered she targets me.   A couple of weeks ago it was yet another veiled threat demanding money, money that she is still not entitled too so I declined yet again.

Things have been quiet, bar a couple of situations that have made me uncomfortable which are simply not worth going in to on this blog.  Today though, it was her turn to have the children for 3 nights.  Why is this an issue well my daughter has not been happy at hers and chose today to kick off about it.  Amazingly this caused a temper tantrum from the ex I have not seen in some time.

She was in the house about 90 seconds and in that short time I was accused of deliberately avoiding her birthday (this coming Friday), despite the fact we have been split up for 5 years and I always make sure she has cards from the kids and token gifts.  Then she kicked off as my daughter wanting to go to her was my fault, and that it was my fault “probably because you are jealous of my relationship and want it to fail”  I did well not to laugh at that point.

Then she stormed out, slammed my door harder than ever before, and left the kids and I stood there in disbelief.  The woman really needs help.

I truly have no real idea why the anger was directed at me or the children, but I did love that quote.  I love it as it demonstrates she still believes that somewhere I have some feelings for her.  I do not, I have no interest in her life or who she is with.  What I want is for her to disappear and that it is just then myself and the children.

The problem is, the children need their mother despite her displays of anger in front of them.   That’s life sadly, sometimes you are stuck with people for the majority of it.

Why have a plan if nobody will back it?

One of the most frustrating things about being in debt is you have ideas of how you could possibly get out of it, but nobody will back them because they involve not paying people!   In an ideal world, I would win enough to clear everything and start again, I am not a greedy man, I just want to start from zero.

My main plan involves taking my mortgage payments holidays I am owed.  So, as you may or may not know, for every twelve successful payments you qualify for a 1 month payment holiday.  You have a certain amount of time to take them, anyway to cut a long story short I have 2 owed months.  So why not ring and get them and save some money?  why not indeed…

Well, if you do that, you technically start a new loan.  Your mortgage repayment goes up by something ridiculous like £11 a month but you have to be financially reviewed.  Well that’s me doomed then, my credit score is appalling.   So it was a no…

So let’s review, I am owed 2 months non payment.  That saving would clear 2 debts, meaning more money in my account when the mortgage starts again.  However, I am not allowed to have the loan repayment holiday so I am in the same boat.  What does it take to convince these companies of your plan, and how it benefits every party?

And there is the problem isn’t it?  When it comes to logical financial propositions nobody will touch you without a credit score.  What would help is if someone came to your house, rather than over the phone, and listen.  Listen to the whole picture, look at the raw actual benefits of the request and make a decision then.

Sadly, the world isn’t that easy is it fellow debtors?  divorced or not…