Tag Archives: loan

Pawn shame

No not that type of pawn shame, get your minds out of the gutter now people!   This is my experience of something I never thought I would do.

It has been an extremely tough start to the year, financially.  I coped with Christmas as I budgeted, but January had 2 family birthdays so I knew it would be a struggle.  What I didn’t bank (ironic use of the word) on was a vet bill, a car repair and my fridge freezer breaking.

I have sold everything of value as you know, so what was left to do to raise funds?  It is 3 weeks till pay day, so I had one valuable item left but I didn’t want to sell it so I took the last path I could take, a pawn shop.  Not just any pawn shop, or back street “we buy your gold” vendor, this was a reputable high street one.

The item was high value and I knew I could get it back in May when I get my work bonus.  I did have plans for that money but needs must, so now it will be used mostly to buy back my item.  That’s my life though, whilst clearing debt sacrifices must be made time and time again.  Anyway, I digress…

I entered the shop, not sure what I expected really but it was small and unwelcoming.  The 2 other customers looked like they had been placed by some higher spirit, hell bent on changing my mind.  They were the local scum, dressed like garbage, poor grammar, and rough looking.  They pawned their items for meagre amounts of £30 ($42) and left.   My item was presented and examined and I was asked how much I wanted.

I wanted £800, this would cover the repairs totally.  It was just over 10% of the value of the item so a fair price, 35 minutes later after much investigation and checks by the assistant, an offer was then presented.   £700.

Sigh, really?   however, this was fine as I wasn’t being greedy at all.   I accepted and the ‘loan’ was set to 6 months repayment and I left with cash.  Did I feel relieved?  No…truthfully I felt cheap and very disappointed that my life had hit a new low.   Perhaps even lower than going insolvent, borrowing from my parents and so on.  Despite all my triumphs and the enormous amount of debt cleared, this felt horrible.

I suppose I can add this to life experience and again, I suppose, Pawn shops serve their purpose of emergency loans against valuable items.   I think I am irritated again that I simply cannot go more than 2 months without some sort of financial disaster, it makes my target that little bit further away.

I will still get there, I don’t think there can be many more shameful boxes to tick. Unless I take up Male Escorting!

Onwards and upwards, still hoping for that “one day it will all be a bad memory” moment.

selfless act

Another couple of days spent hunting for answers to the financial predicament, but in a lot of cases of seemingly lost causes an answer presents itself.

I can’t accept this offer/answer though, on account of pride, but this act does highlight that people do a) care and b) want to help.  The reasons were so genuine, they didn’t want to see me down and struggling.  You can guess, someone offered to get me a loan.

Yes, it would fix the smaller issue and push the HMRC back for a few months on the larger outstanding debt but….I could not accept.  I had to be completely honest, I would be in no position to pay it back for 8-12 months which is completely unfair.  Why should someone else put themselves into debt to bail me out?

No, I had to be an adult and decline despite every bit of screaming do it!  But, you wouldn’t put a plaster on a wound that required stitches would you?  Nor can I paper over a temporary crack.  It would be a quick fix only, and then the threatening letters would start again and I would already have an additional loan to pay back.

What makes this more remarkable though is this person is not in any way affluent.  The loan offer was made because they have excellent credit history, and thus would get a loan.  How selfless is that?

It shows as well, don’t hide yourself away, open up and see who wants to help.  Some people will stick their nose up in the air (and they do) but others will want to help.  Perhaps I need to swallow my pride and open up to my family.

We will see…