Tag Archives: unfair

Solicitor needed again

New Year, same rubbish.  A little while ago My ex started receiving letters from the HMRC (it makes a nice change for them not to be addressed to me!) about her benefits.  I know this as it is stamped on the top of the envelope, I didn’t open the mail.  I suspected this meant she was being investigated for fraudulent claims, as they were being made using my home address and of course she moved out 2 years ago.

I smirked at the time but with trepidation.  Any financial loss to her would mean she would turn to me, as has always been the case.  Our arrangement, since the divorce was finalised, has not involved me paying her anything, namely as she cohabits and I pay for everything for the children.  She pays for clothes etc but ones that stay at her address, so I don’t pay for them.  Now, my lovely ex, has decided now she will be hundreds of pounds worse off each month I should be paying her maintenance.

Luckily, I have been expecting this to surface at some point so I am well prepared to fight my battle.  Chiefly, the fact that she pays NOTHING towards the house that still bears her name, and nothing towards any bills for it or the children.  There are many other factors to include, but they would bore you.

Sadly, this means a solicitor.  More money to pay out, I am always paying out one way or another.  I am hoping to call her bluff before it gets as far as legal entities but knowing her she will push it.   I am reasonably confident she doesn’t have a leg to stand on but should the worse happen and I have to pay her money (for what I have no idea as I am the primary parent) it will actually finish me off.

As you all know, I have done very well with the debt and budgeting with any spare cash.  If this spare cash is then removed, and this is no exaggeration here, I will be left with absolutely nothing.

I am not going to stand for it though, I will fight and delay anything that I have to.  I am sick of her attracting money and swanning around taking from people, it simply has to stop at some point.   The problem with someone who always gets what she wants is she never expects to lose.  She may get a shock with this one.

My children are well looked after and want for nothing, they live in a nice home and have been shielded from her affair and walking out, and from my financial despair.  They are happy, healthy children and I have been on my own with them for 4 years being the solid base.  Sadly, she fails to recognise this, no shock there, it is ALWAYS about what she feels she is entitled to.  Let’s be honest, she works 2 days a week for her boyfriend.  She could easily get off her arse and get a proper job but then why would she?  She gets a free house, no bills or debt left and a 13K car to drive around in.

Nope, I am not rolling over on this one nor will I raise my voice and get angry about it.  I am going to remain perfectly calm and take care of everything in the background.  She really hates it when she is not in control.

It would be nice to start this year with a win for me and for her life to start to take a downward turn.

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Run of bad luck continues

Those who follow my blog are aware, by now, that bad luck follows me avidly.  I seem unable to avoid it, but still hope that at some point my luck will turn.  Perhaps not strictly bad luck this time, but I will put it in the same bag if I may.

The point I always try to make is that I never seem to be able to not pay out for things, I just never get a clean break.   Despite looking forward to my Insolvency meeting tomorrow, and the promise of a glimmer of financial freedom, 2 more things have happened.  One will most definetly hit my bank account, the other…maybe not.  It will totally depend on whether I bother to get it repaired.

So, my dishwasher has broken.   It’s irritating timing, like most things that break I guess.   I will need to get it repaired as the kids and pets generate lots of things to wash up.  I have no idea how much it will be, but whatever the cost it will eat into my Christmas budget.

Now the next one.  Last time I got home quite late, due to a major road being closed on the way home.  The lateness meant there was little parking in my road, so I was forced to park right up the other end, the first car parking space in the road actually.  I walked up to get it this morning and discovered some total scumbag has keyed it.  They have dragged a key along every panel of the passenger side.   Remember I have only just got the car back from the repair place, so I was livid.  Actually, livid doesn’t even begin to describe it.  I have never understood why people do this to cars, what do they get out of it?   I would love to catch someone, I really would.

The car will cost a lot of money to put right but am I going to do it? no….I don’t have the money at all and what’s the point?  Evidently we cannot have nice things (although the car is 5 years old now but still in nice looking shape), lowlife people take it upon themselves to wreck them.  They are unaware of how my life has been of course, as they dragged their key down my car, laughing.   For me, I was raging.  I suspect this is a build of emotion and frustration recently.

It does feel personal, all these things that keep happening.  At the risk of repeating previous post themes, I feel like life is doing all it can to stop me getting back on my feet quickly.  It feels personal too as it doesn’t seem to happen to anyone else I know, always me.

I have to ask, when will it stop?

Irritants after a break-up

Why am I writing this post today, well my ex broke protocol when it comes to social media.  We have a rule on Facebook where we do not put images of new partners on there, it offends family members and upsets the kids.  This is not an issue for me as I have remained single but my ex is still with the guy she cheated with.  Up until last night that rule stayed in place,  but today a Halloween party shows them together and lots of comments about them.  This is the usual middle finger in the air to everyone.

The agreement was, from my family and I to her, that if (when) it happened we would remove her and thus this will now happen.  There will be the usual rants and raves and excuses on how they have accidently appeared, but sadly we have heard it all before.

This is the final straw, you see I am very respectful.  I do not slate her in public and prefer to stay out of conversations about her.  I have also stayed out of the many many situations where people have wanted to get hold of her, these are the previous friends she has stitched up, partners of men she has approached and so on.

I mention irritants, there are so very many.  The biggest one for me is the total failure by Karma to punish her in any way for the multiple wrong doings.  I am not aiming for a beat up session here, but these are actual facts.  She is well known as a compulsive liar and a master maniplulator, and has no disregard for who she hurts.  Don’t get me wrong, people always get the tears and “I’m so sorry” but sadly it has all been heard before.   Hence, Karma…time to step up.

But, what is a massive irritant to me this time is her band of friends.  You see, when the affair came out and everything else she had done also came out, she lost all bar a couple of friends.  Somehow she latched onto a new band of younger girls who seem to worship her.  They clearly see her and her guy as a nice couple but right here is the kicker, they all know the history of what they both did?  What he did to his family was similar by the way.  Being as all those new found friends are married you would think even one of them would think it morally wrong?  It appears not.

Why does this actually irritate me?  Well, there is a pattern you see.  Every few years she causes a near nuclear bomb explosion everyone drops her, and she starts again.  It has happened at least 3 times since I have known her.  It irritates me that she can move on like that but, as stated above, she somehow manipulates the situation for them to feel sorry for her.  It is an astonishing skill, one I would love to intervene in.  I would love to turn up at one of the many ‘girlie nights’ and say “hold on, what she has told you is utter rubbish and here are ten people who will tell you differently to her story”.

So this is why I want life to pay her back, I am simply amazed she just moves on and people love her!    How come I have to struggle why she moves onto another life of luxury where she pays absolutely nothing towards it?  She is the mother of my children so I don’t want anything bad to happen to her but I would absolutely LOVE to see her publically ousted by someone.  This may sound cruel but why does nobody from her new group stand up and think hold on, this girl wrecked 2 families and she is sat her dining at my table.

I really struggle to understand it.

I try hard not to judge people, when I meet people with a past I try to understand it but this is different.  It is a trend, it has happened many times and so many people have been hurt by her.  If a queue formed it would snake around the block!

Not often I have a rant but at some point it would be nice to sit back and smirk.   Who else wouldn’t want to?  When someone cheats you want to see them fail from that point on, not  to sit back and watch their life get better!

I just felt like getting this off my chest.